Thursday, October 3, 2013

These Are The Days

...these are the days
you might feel a shaft of light make its way
across your face
and when you do 
you'll know how it was meant to be
see the signs know their meaning
it's true
you'll know how it was meant to be
hear the signs know they're speaking
to you
to you

--excerpt from a 10,000 Maniacs song

I was listening to an old mix tape in the car on my way to work and this song came on.  You know how you can hear a song many times but sometimes lyrics jump out as if they were new?  That's what happened here.  I really heard the words and thought about how they apply to my life.  Like most people, I am carried along through the day, keeping track of ALL the little things I have to get done.  Sometimes even hurrying through the bedtime routine with the kids because I just have to get back downstairs and load the dishwasher, make lunches, etc. 

No, these ARE the days to remember, to enjoy the metaphorical shaft of light across my face.  It's Fall. It's time to sloooow dowwwn and take the time.  To be present in the moment.  To sing an extra song at bedtime.  Kids are only little for a short time, so remember to look at those little hands and clear eyes and cherish the days.

That's what the signs are whispering to me and sometimes I strain to hear, but I'm trying.  Being a parent is hard and lovely.  My kids are good kids but we have our struggles.  Caroline is having some temper issues and it's tough.  These days I have to focus on showing her what I want to see mirrored back.  It's work and not easy. I'm a yeller sometimes, but I'm seeing that it's not helpful and poor modeling.  When I'm frustrated with her behavior I need to be able to not engage and let her calm down.  I need to remember that she is little and needs my help.  I know how it was meant to be, and it's my job to teach her. 

And to remember to hug these days close, stand in the light, and listen.